Why Tapeworms Are Good For You – and other ridiculousness.

That got your attention didn’t it? I shared these great ads a couple of weeks ago at Nice Girl Notes. :) I’ve reposted it here in case you didn’t have a chance to read them . . .

Last night the family and I watched a Public Service Announcement that I taped off of of Turner Classic Movies. It was called “Relaxed Wife” –  a 50’s movie about a husband and wife. He was all tense and wound up while she bopped around relaxed and happy. He was a mess. So she read to him from this book called “How to Relax”. All these relaxation techniques. But the whole thing winds up by saying, “If all that doesn’t work – we have these super tranquilizers. These will really relax you.” It was fantastic.

It started me thinking about older ads and the things that were “acceptable” in the 50’s and 60’s that sound ridiculous today. I found a few that I thought you’d get a kick out of.

For Help Raising Your Children:

Here’s what the ad says in case you can’t read it:
“How soon is too soon? Not soon enough. Laboratory test over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and “fitting in” during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regime of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness.”

Well now I know what the problem was in my awkward pre-teen and teen years. All that milk I drank as a baby.

You have taken pictures of children right? You know how long it takes you to get the child to
1. look at the camera and
2. smile and look at the camera.
Multiply that times 2. And then wrap it in cellophane.

Nothing like a lack of oxygen to keep the kids calm for their 1 year old pictures.

Your Newest Diet Plan:

No Diet! No Baths! No Exercise!! How? with Sanitized Tape Worms. Jar Packed. Easy to Swallow.

Wow. So long Atkins! Ta-Ta Weight Watchers! I’m moving on to Jar packed Tape Worms. But only the sanitized ones. Those unsanitized Tape Worms will get you every time.
It’s also good to know that I won’t need to take a bath anymore. Whew.

Life with Hubby:

 

Awww. Now there’s a sweetheart of a guy. At least he’s got his priorities in the right place.
He better turn off the stove though. Somebody is going to get hurt.

Well that clears things up quite a bit! If that’s what I’m for, I’m going to get me a big, tall white chef’s hat. I deserve it.

Um. There are no words.
Well actually, there are. Aside from his affinity for poolboys, if I’m hanging out with a guy that smokes a pipe and wears a criss-cross open cut speedo, I need to reevaluate some things. Lots of things.

Could somebody tell me what Jantzen was thinking with this ad?

And to go out on a high note . . .

This one you need to enlarge to read. Just click on the image.

For Complete Feminine Hygiene rely on . . .  “Lysol”.

It’s a relief to know that there’s no greasy aftereffect.
I have to just say, Eeeewwwww. And that Dave is an idiot.

Well I hope you’ve enjoyed this little glimpse into life in the 50’s.  Keep an eye on those tapeworms ok?

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